The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
