Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
