you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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