You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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