With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
