oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
