i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
