and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
