Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What a dumb baby whore.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Im part way to drunk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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