Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
