I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
