Got a toothbrush?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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