White coat. Heels.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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