What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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