the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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