this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
