My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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