are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
