How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
