Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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