if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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