i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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