She's JV to your varsity
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
