I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
