If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
