you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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