yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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