I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
