it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i will never coherently bang her
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
