with your own penis?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
