she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
