woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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