Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
