I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
