i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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