Porn is love you can see.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
