Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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