well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
