Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
