I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I understand Curling. That high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
