so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
