I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
