carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
zippers are such a cool invention
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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