remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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