Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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