In America we eat man semen.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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