Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
