Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also, beer. Big fan.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
