did you get engaged???
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
