Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
