Only a mothe r could love this liver
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
