I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
